Nightmare! Well, to me at least.

I had a horrible dream last night. I dreamt I was pregnant. And if I'm not mistaken, I was very pregnant. And I think I was carrying twins, I think I just knew that it was twins. And unlike all my other dreams where I'm pregnant, I knew who the father was now. That was a nice twist, especially since the father was someone I would very much like to practise making babies with. But the downside was that he wasn't with me.

I have to laugh a little bit at it... I remember having a very dirty thought. In my dream I had clearly had lots of relationships before I did this guy, and I thought that none of the others had made me pregnant. So I thought: "Wow, his sperm must be really persistent!" Scary.

Anyway, I woke up on my back and actually thought I was pregnant. So I turned around to my side, and you won't believe how relieved I was to feel that it wasn't a whole lot of extra tummy there!

I checked some dream sites, to figure out what the hell these pregnant dreams mean. Here are the interpretations:

To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.

Personal growth and development would be nice... I just hope it doesn't mean that my maternal instinct is growing.

If the dreamer is a woman and you dream you are pregnant then you will see a big increase in your income, but if you are unwed and sad you will experience losses.

Well, an increase in income would be nice! But highly unlikely.

Pregnancy has two points of entry into our dream lives. The first is dreaming of oneself as being pregnant. The second is that you actually become pregnant in waking life and that trigger event creates this particular dream content.

In dreams, anyone can get pregnant. It is not an experience that is limited by gender or age. Generally, it is a herald of creativity, virility, or wealth. However, there are numerous underlying themes that need additional interpretation.

If you are a younger woman who dreams of getting pregnant, but has no waking intention of doing so, it is likely that you are working through an archetypal transition into a new self-awareness. One of Jung's archetypes is the archetype of parenting or preserving the species. To see oneself engaged in such activity is to grow from being a child to identifying more prominently with adults.

I like this one better. But I'm not so sure about any of them... Anyone have any ideas about what this could mean?

Best thing about summer (No sarcasm! Really!)

Even though it's so hot these days one can hardly breathe, there is one fantastic thing about the summer, at least this summer, now in 2009.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince!

I just booked tickets for the midnight premiere in Lillestrøm! And I'm taking Marion, Ragnhild, mom, Rikke and Adrian with me!

See the trailer:

Recovering from the exam

I don't like this summer. It's too damn hot. And last night was the first tropical night of the summer, and we're to expect more of them this week. Oh joy. This weather is also making me sick. But more of that later, because now I'm going to recount what has happened since I finished my exam, in chronological order. I think.

Last Saturday, the 20th, me and my parents went to my dad's parents to celebrate their 50th wedding day, along with the rest of their children and grandchildren and some of their friends. It was nice, but I couldn't really enjoy it like I should. I was mentally exhausted because of the exam, and knew I had only one day to get the finishing touches done and help Lalani at the same time. I slept about 11 hours that night between Saturday and Sunday. But I managed it all well in time!

On Monday, the 22nd, I went to school, only to find Nina sitting outside the classroom, in desperate need to find someone to unlock the door so she could fix some issues on her own exam. That's really professional, on the day the exam is due. Not ONE living person in the entire building, the phone was ringing and ringing and ringing down by the reception, no one to answer it. Eventually that solved itself too, and then Lalani came and we managed to get her exam ready for presentation too. I feel that I did okay, on both the exam itself and the presentation. But I don't think I'll get an A, like last year. I really don't. If I do, someone have to help me pick my jaw off the floor.

On Tuesday I went to Fredrikstad. I had really looked forward to that, and it met all my expectations. The first thing Ann-Marie did was make me laugh, sure it was at her sunburn, but she made me laugh nonetheless. I was able to totally relax and breathe out. On Wednesday she and I met Marion, Ragnhild and Heidi so we could all get to Allsang på Grensen in Halden. Never thought I'd attend something like that, but my friends can really talk me into lots of things :) Anyway, here's some pictures:

^Heidi finally got her birthday present from me and Ann-Marie

^Lost!

I went home on Thursday, because I had to go to eCademy and sign the contract for next school year. So I drove to Lillestrøm, took the bus to Helsfyr, which was the best according to Trafikanten. But I couldn't find the correct adress from there to save my life. I trusted Google Maps on my phone, but I shouldn't have. I tried to call dad, because he knew where it was. He didn't answer. I tried to call mom, no answer. I tried to call Vibeke from my class, she was sort of in charge of getting all of us there to sign, no answer. Finally got hold of dad, but not much help there. I asked some people at Fyrstikktorget, they either didn't know or gave me directions that didn't help at all. I found a cab, but he was waiting for a client. He too gave me directions though, but not helpful. I tried Vibeke again, and found out that I could get the contract in the mail, and I went home. But then I didn't find out where I could go to get on the other side of the highway and the bus to Lillestrøm. So I took the bus all the way into Oslo and then found one to take me to Lillestrøm. And then there was lots of traffic out of Lillestrøm. It was HOT, I needed food but wasn't hungry, I was thirsty, I was sweaty, and I was tired, and I wished I'd never left Fredrikstad. I knew I had to stop and buy bread on my way home. And at the store, people had parked like they didn't know how, and I was all out of my mind. I finally got home, so angry I could kill with a glare. I took a cold shower and just cursed the sun the rest of the day.

Had I know what would happen if I went to Oslo that day, I would have stayed in Fredrikstad untill Ann-Marie kicked me out head first.

Anyway, later that day, I got summer sickness. Nothing serious, just some uncomfortable moments, and no appetite and lots of running to the bathroom. Reminded me a lot of what happened in London in January, but not quite the same. First I didn't get sick from stupid pills that's supposed to prevent sickness, and not so uncontrolable. On Friday I started running out of soap to wash my hands, and voila, I was better again. The lack of soap seemed to shock my body into health again. Not that I'm gonna be 100 % fine until the temperature drops to a daily maximum of 0 celsius and a minimum of -20 celsius.

I really hate to have to sleep without the comforter at night, I hate that my nose itches all the time from grass pollen, I hate summer sickness, I hate the heat, I hate tropical nights, I hate the buss of the fan needed to survive.

I'm sorry for all this negativity, I just don't like this time of year. Bit weird, seeing as I was born during the summer, in August. Late summer, but still summer.

Anyway, now I'm off to meet mom at Sørumsand, at the moment my car is the only one big enough to hold the new dryer!

Just some thoughts...

... I jotted down a few days ago when my exam was nearing its end. But now my exam is over, reality is calling, and I thought I should actually post it and get it off my mind.

This is probably the first thing I've ever put online that comes so straight from the heart without being wrapped up in rhymes, mystic words or plot lines. I am putting it online and making it available for the world to see in hopes that it will ease my mind knowing that I've shared my raw thoughts. So please read this with respect and open-mindedness.

This exam has been a true blessing, in a way that it has slowly taken my mind off the thing that has "taken over" my mind for the last few months. But as it started coming close to an end, my mind started going back to what took up so much space before. And it makes me happy and sad at the same time.

I met Lalani one time during the exam, and we talked while we enjoyed the sun at Fetsund Lenser. She got me thinking. She got me thinking before too, but this time it really hit home. That is one thing I love about her, but I also hate it. Love it about her because it brings me out of my stupor, and it's healthy to think and act, even though it doesn't always feel that way. Hate it about her because I know she's right, and that scares me. I know I have to take her words to heart and act, and it's terrifying to not know what will happen when I act, and equally terrifying to imagine what will happen if I don't act. The latter is the worst, it tears me up even now, when I'm barely thinking at all.

She said: "You have to do something about it. If you don't do something, someone else will come there before you, and that will hurt very much." (Not word for word, but pretty much the same.) It will hurt. Very very very much.

I started to take action before the exam, but now I'm dead afraid that something might have come in the way while I've been absent from the world. So I keep praying to whatever forces are out there, that they will keep the world standing still until these 4 weeks have come to an end and I can start claiming what is mine.

Because I will act, and I will know, and I will win. But I have no idea how. Soon I feel like there will be no sense left in me, and I will take what I want like a greedy animal, but I don't want to do it like that. At least not at first;)

And I have conflicting emotions about the whole thing to begin with. I know the feelings are very much an adult's, but I feel so small. Like I have no right, like I'm not enough, that I'm still too much of a child in spite of my age. And of course there's the circumstances, they make things a bit more difficult. But in spite of all this, I will try. I will do my very best, because I feel that I can't live if I don't try.

And now the exam is over, and I guess I have to do something about it. But I'm scared, and I wish someone would just take care of everything for me. But I have to face my fears, and do what's right.

I just don't know how.

I have a guilty pleasure:

Rogan.

Nuff said.

Strange dreams and Law of Attraction

No tribute to a friend today I'm afraid, but I think a regular update is in order.

A few things have happened lately, some of them shouldn't see daylight, so I won't talk about that. But my final exam has started. It started this Monday, and we're making a full site for a fictional place called Bergtun Fjellstue. It will be full of database stuff, aspx-code, flash, jquery and all that good stuff, or bad stuff. Flash is bad, jquery is semi-bad. The rest is damn good! Love database and aspx coding! I think I'm a bit ahead of schedule too, just like last year. But this time it happened earlier, so I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. But let's hope for the best!

Had some strange dreams lately... Last night I dreamt I was in Oslo with Ann-Marie, Renate, Tine, and the mother of a friend I had when I went to Dalen. It was all very strange. I had bought an iPhone because my Touch HD was out of power. And I had left my wallet with my period ticket for the train in it, all my money and everything. I had even left my car keys in the car. But I knew I would still be able to get into the car, because I had clearly left it there before and still managed to open the doors. There were some other things in the dream, or perhaps another dream, I'm not sure.

The night before that, I dreamt that I wanted to play Tekken. But I never got as far as turning on the console. Instead I just popped up on a plane/UFO/flying device with a lot of other participants in the Iron Fist tournament. Trying to land on the floor in my room, which suddenly was a lot bigger. We didn't manage to land, tried several times, but it just wouldn't land correctly. It was a large square floor with see-through walls and roof. Not like glass, just invisible. Next thing I know I am watching the second match in the tournament, between Hwoarang and Roger the Kangaroo. I think the two of them fought the first one too. Hwoarang was very violent and won the match, Roger was very hurt. But Hwoarang was hurt too, and I stood infront of a mirror with him looking at a scratch on his hand, feeling really sorry for him. And then the dream jumped again and I was outside one of the rooms in the place where the tournament was held. Roger was inside and I felt really bad that he was hurt, somehow felt it was my fault. My aunt Hanne and another aunt was there (don't remember who), it was like it was one of those family gatherings. I said to them that I had to see Roger, they let me and I went into the room. I dropped to my knees beside the bed where the kangaroo laid, all bruised. I took one of his hands/paws in mine, with his boxing gloves still on. And I told him how sorry I was that Hwoarang hurt him so badly, I could have prevented it, but I didn't. (Merlin knows how on earth I could have done that, it's part of the game...)

It was all very crazy. It's one of those dreams that makes you consider getting yourself locked up in a mental institution...

Enough dreams. Ann-Marie talked me into going to "Allsang på Grensen" on June 24th. That will be... interesting. No, I'm sure it will be fun, as long as Marion, Ragnhild, Heidi and Ann-Marie are there. Let's just hope it doesn't rain, it's not allowed with umbrellas there... But I'll still bring my ugly umbrella from school. A pale-ish orange with the Sonans logo on it. I won't use it, but it's so ugly I have to bring it :P

OH, I just remembered something! I've been doing a bit Law of Attraction lately. (Definition from Wikipedia: Law of Attraction says people's thoughts (both conscious and unconscious) dictate the reality of their lives, whether or not they're aware of it. Essentially "if you really want something and truly believe it's possible, you'll get it", but putting a lot of attention and thought onto something you don't want means you'll probably get that too.)

It works.

It really does.

You all know that right now, there is one thing I really really really really want, but can't get, at the moment. I turned my thoughts around to "I want ...", "I need ...", "I have to ..." instead of a pathetic powerless "I hope ...". And what do you know! 3 times in a week I see the very thing I want the most! First time was the one I mentioned in another blog post, where I was so incredibly happy. I am looking and searching every day, especially when I'm out driving, because right now that's the easiest way. I have seen many similar things, but never what I want. Then suddenly, a very short time after I turned my thoughts around, it happens 3 times in one week! First time that Wednesday when I blogged about it, second the Monday after, and then Wednesday again. Hasn't happened anything since that Wednesday a week and a half ago, but my exam has taken up most of my thoughts. I just really can't focus enough on getting what I want. Plus, a few days ago I lost a bit of confidence in my task. I fell back into that "I hope ..." state, a depressed melancholic state of mind. It's not ideal for Law of Attraction, but I guess that's just who I am. It's personality type 4, which is a big part of me, according to the Enneagram of Personality test I took at Bjerkely. The most accurate test I've ever come across. Scarily accurate. If I remember correctly I'm mostly 8, almost as much 4, with a healthy dash of 3 and 5.

Anyway, I think this is all I have to say for now. Have a great weekend everyone! And to my lovely friend Heidi: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!!! I'm sorry I couldn't be with you to celebrate today, but life just got in the way... Hope you have a fantastic evening and a fantastic day tomorrow! I love you!

Tribute to lovable people

I was taking a look at Ann-Marie's old Piczo site just now, feeling a bit nostalgic looking at her Bjerkely reunion page. It's a beautiful page, Ann-Marie, beautiful pictures and beautiful words. So I got to thinking about my friends, how we met, how much they mean to me. I do that sometimes, but now I thought I'd put it into words. And I decided that I should make a blog post about each of my best and closest friends, just for fun and because they all deserve something special and I want them to always know how much I love them. And keep in mind, that the order that these posts will come is totally random, it is not a ranking, I couldn't rank you if I wanted to. Except for maybe letting you all share first place. (Oh my, this is starting to sound a bit sappy…:P) I will start to write each post after this is posted, and then I will not publish any of them until they are all done. So you just wait and see if there comes a post about you!

Now, off to write about someone!

New musicvideo from Kamelot

This song gave me goosebumps and tears in my eyes the first time I heard it. And now they've made a musicvideo of it!

So little, so happy!

Amazing how little it takes to make my day!

2 seconds of my life, heart in overdrive, breath coming short and a smile that reached from ear to ear.

I've been needing this for such a long time, it was a damn relief today. And it was a very efficient wake-upper. I wouldn't mind having this experience every morning! (And for all of you with your mind in the gutter: It's not like that! (Kind of))

I don't think my friends could even make me this happy. No offense, I love you all too much, you're fantastic and whenever we hang out it recharges me and makes me take life a little bit easier. But nothing can compare to today!

Cartoon for the nerd in us all

Just have to post a picture of this cartoon that hangs on our classroom door. One of our teachers put it up there. The first time I read it I laughed so hard! The nerd in me rejoices!

You might want to click it to get the full size and be able to read.