The unexpected

I was just downstairs, getting ready to go to bed, and I thought a little bit. And I came to this conclution: I swear to Merlin, that if ever the unexpected happens, I'm gonna do a Bella and faint. It doesn't have to be a big unexpected, just the casual everyday "Why, hello, are you here too?".

Just thinking about it makes me go slightly breathless. And it seems I'm in another period where it takes very little to remind me and make me think. Just recently had a period where it was slow and off my mind, and I kind of hoped it would last. But I guess it was too much to ask for.

So here I am, sitting watching TV, reading something, eating, walking to and from school, talking to someone, and it hit me hard and I have to screw up my eyes, ball my fists and focus on getting my body under control. Worst are the train rides to school. Sitting there too tired, too awake or too bored to sleep, thoughts wander and I daydream. Now that's dangerous.

It's got to be weird, reacting like this. But I am weird. Period.

Good night!