Happy New Year!

I wish you all a

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays

To everyone who may stumble across my blog today:

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Gift calendar part 3

December 19th: Paper napkins with Christmas decor
December 20th: Hair thingy

December 21th: Chocolate snowballs:

December 22nd: Goldfish:

December 23rd: Oatmeal cookies! Lovely!
December 24th: Bag of marsipan and chocolate from Nidar.

Karma, what does it mean?

I've been having some naughty thoughts lately. Because of the stuff I found out back in October and now have picture evidence of, all because of that. So I am a bit heartbroken and very angry. I'm angry at both, but this one person makes me really angry. I don't even know that person, but that person took one of my dreams away from me. And now I am wishing bad things on that person, so that things can go back to the way I want them to be, so I can get my chance back.

But I got to thinking. "If you really love someone, let go and be happy for them." I should do that. But I can't. I'm unable to feel it, all I feel is anger at that stupid person who just waltzed in and took away my chances. Maybe I need more time, but seriously, shouldn't I be partly there by now? It's been two months!

My thought about this was: Am I setting myself up for a life without love if I keep wishing for that dream-stealing person to go through hell? Am I dooming every possible relationship that comes my way? If so, what should I do if I can't be happy for their sake? Move far far far away so I won't risk seeing them and those close to them? There are certain people that I just can't shut out of my life, they haven't done anything wrong. They just happen to know the wrong/right people.

Merlin, things were so much simpler when I was at Bjerkely. Surrounded by nothing but harmless people that didn't mean anything to me in that way.

So, Karma. I've tried to read up on it, find out what that really does give you good or bad karma. Is it your actions? Is is the meaning behind the actions? If you do something that turns out bad but you did because you thought it would do good? Do you get bad or good karma then? Or is it your thoughts? Wanting to do harm? Wishing bad on someone to make it good for you? Is it actions and thoughts? Just actions? Just thoughts? What is it?

If it is thoughts, then I am in trouble. If it is thoughts, I should just go get hypnotized to forget all about my warm feelings for a certain person, and let them become just an acquaintance in my eyes.

I thought I was over it, at least feeling more indifference than anger and hurt. But then that picture evidence came, and now it's more real to me, and it hurts again. And once again, I feel completely pathetic about it. Like I don't have the right to feel hurt. It's not like I really did anything about my feelings, because I was too scared and insecure. But I couldn't help the way I feel, the way I still feel, even if I tried. Because I did try. But I failed every time. And now I sit here, wishing bad things on someone.

I'm so screwed. And I'm not talking about karma now. Totally screwed in the head.

My gift calendar

Here's the gift calendar I embroidered to myself years ago! Clever, aren't I?

New story!

I posted a new story on FF.Net yesterday, called A Wolf's Soul.

When I went to sleep on October 26th I couldn't sleep. My muse hit me in the head and wouldn't let me sleep until I had mapped the basics of a new story in my head. The next day I began writing, but then there was that thing that broke my heart and made my entire world crash. I lost my will to write and thought I would have to postpone the plans I had for posting Lunar Illumination around Christmas. But the following weekend I began writing on the new idea and really drowned myself in writing that and reading Remus fanfiction. It helped me recover quite quickly, though I'm having several setbacks now that Christmas is coming closer and I've now gotten picture evidence that what I thought was the case back in October is really true.

Enough depression. The new story is a Remus/OC and student/teacher story. It was supposed to be a one-shot, but it turned out to be a long one-shot. Then I thought that perhaps I should split it into small chapters, but then it turned out to be very long and I made the decision to actually make it into a proper story with small chapters. My regular chapter length standard is 5000-8000 words, this one has an average of 1500 words per chapter. And I have 15 chapters written down, is working on the sixteenth, and is done revising the first 4 chapters. Of course I will read through the chapter I will post just to make sure everything is alright.

Now, the summary:

My parents had the kind of love that touched everyone around them. I searched hard for my own soul deep love while I was at Hogwarts. By my last year I had given up. But then there was the start of term feast, and in walked a thin, tired, shabby old man.

And you can read the story on FanFiction.Net. I can't post it on HPFF because it violates their Terms of Service because it is a student/teacher story. I will ask the staff at the forums to see how fine line there is, maybe I can post it there, but it's not that important.

So go read and enjoy! Will try to post every Tuesday and Friday. But remember that I live in a GMT +1 timezone, also known as the CET timezone.

4th Sunday of Advent

Today is the fourth Sunday of Advent. The fourth candle is lit, and tomorrow I'm putting them away and putting up some small cute candles I've had for ages. I need to clear out some space in my candle shelves, so I will finally burn the pretty candles.

There's now only 5 days left until Christmas Eve! We will be staying at home that day. Grandmother and grandfather, aunt, uncle and two cousins (all on dad's side) will be coming. Hopefully grandmother on mum's side will come too. But she's a bit weird about the weather. But she did seem positive about coming on December 23rd and staying for a few days despite the insane snow that's pouring down almost every day. I will try to remember to post a picture of all the snow too.

Been out shopping with mum today. Bought the Christmas present for Mons. It's an awesome present, but I won't say what it is in case his mum and dad read my blog. I also got parts of my present from mum and dad: One gorgeous red warm knitted cardigan, a black top/blouse that makes my cleavage look even more awesome than it usually is, and a black simple sweater to have underneath the red knitted one. So now I have some nice new tops to wear at Christmas.

So it's been a good day. Made even better by all the e-mails I've gotten today. But that's a story for another post, which I will make immediately after I publish this!

3rd Sunday of Advent and decorations

I forgot to post a picture on the 3rd Sunday of Advent, so here it comes! (One day before 4th Sunday of Advent...)

Today I cleaned my room and put up all my decorations. It got really pretty :)

^ The table I got from Ann-Marie once :) I'm a little bit skeptical about what the heat of the candles in that house will do to the paint underneath, so I'll have to check soon.

^ It's not pretty with green candles in that thing in the middle, but it's all I had, that there were three of. I'm used to having purple candles there, so I'm gonna have to buy. Last time I was out shopping I knew I needed candles, but I couldn't remember what colour I needed.

^ This is two things on each side of the nice meter... A soft snowman and the hard and tough Wolverine. Just the way it's supposed to be ;)

^ And look who's prettied himself up for Christmas :) (Honestly, I didn't take it off him after last Christmas...)

^ The beautiful snow globe I bought at Sea World while we were in Orlando :)

^ My Christmas tree, still fully decorated, but with gifts underneath. It's all that's left after I've sent off Marion's, Ragnhild's, Heidi's and Tine's.

As you can probably tell from these pictures, I love snow globes. I now have 15. Most of them are tiny though, I would have liked more of the big ones. But there seem to be more of the small ones out there in the shops... So if you're ever wondering about what to give me for Christmas, a snow globe is a safe choice. But I do not want snow globes that have only glitter in them, there have to be that white stuff that's supposed to be snow.

And by the way: Happy Birthday, Mum!

Gift calendar part 2

December 6th: Pack of cup cake mix

December 7th: Hubba Bubba bubblegum

December 8th: Another Santa Christmas decoration like last week

The above days are the ones I remembered to put in each day. After that I forgot. So here's an update of what I got without remembering which day:

3 "Griseflaks", one I won 20 kr on, one I won 50 kr on and one I didn't win anything on.

Black wrapping ribbon and bows.

Lots of brightly coloured scrungies.

A black pointy scrungy.

And there are two I don't remember. I can't believe I don't remember...

December 17th: Red Bull

December 18th: Red Pringles

Christmas in Ikariam!

The wintery design in Ikariam has changed again, to be more Christmassy this time:

If you want to play Ikariam, here's the links that will put you near me in the map:
Norwegian Alpha Server
Norwegian Beta Server
UK Theta Server

Great things in the mail!

I've been getting a lot of great things in the mail lately! First, on either Monday or Tuesday I got The Big Bang Theory Season 3! Which is fantastic, because according to CDON it doesn't come out before December 17th (used to be 15th). At least that's the date in Norway. But I got it more than a week before that! Woohoo! So now my collection is complete, until season 4 is out on DVD that is.

And on Wednesday I got a letter saying that there was a package waiting for me at the post office because it didn't fit in the mail box. In that was several things: A CD mom bought (because I got discounts the more I shopped), my Christmas present to grandma, birthday present to grandma, aaaaaaand.....

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 soundtrack! Wooohooooo! I tried buying it at Platekompaniet last Friday, but they didn't have it in. Can you believe that?!? They didn't have the Harry Potter soundtrack! Harry Freaking Potter! That's unheard of, that is. But now I have it.

So as soon as I've uploaded the pictures to this post, I will import into iTunes, synchronize my iPod and listen to it while I sign Christmas cards and lick envelopes. I picked up my printing order at Allkopi today. I ordered 12 Christmas cards, but I got 31. So 31 cards, print on both sides, 300 gram paper and 12 envelopes cost me 180 NOK. I am never handmaking Christmas cards again. I think. Anyway, they're awesome, and if you're close enough as a friend or grandparent, expect something awesome in the mail soon :)

2nd Sunday of advent, 2010

I've already done a lot of Christmas decorating in my room. Curtains are up, star is shining, Christmas sheets is on, table cloths and candles, even the tree. Mum ordered a new plastic tree while I was in Orlando and it arrived Monday 29th of November. So why put it up to check and see if it's working, then put it away only to take it out a couple of weeks later. So I decorated it on December 1st. And it's very pretty :)

^The lovely tree :) 1.80 metres high with 350 lights on.

^Advent candles. Homemade numbers. Decided I should do it myself, but I'm not happy about them. So I checked Nille, but they were sold out.

^^^Matching curtains, ^^pillows and ^bedsheets. Sorry I haven't made my bed, but I do not want to crawl around in there each morning to tidy it. See, my bed is a "hole" in the wall.

Gift calendar part 1

I have a gift calender again this year. It feels like everyone has had gift calendars when they grew up, except for me. So I had to embroider my own. I slaved over it for a long long time. And now, at the age of 24, I get to use it for the third or fourth time. And I've decided to blog once a week about what I get:

December 1st: Orange and cloves (for those that don't know: we put 24 cloves into the orange and take one out each day up until Christmas Eve, it's a sort of a calendar, and it smells good)

December 2nd: Snap Crackle (lovely candy, a flat chewy thing, that reminds me a bit of a melted lollipop)

December 3rd: Pack to make "lapper / sveler".

December 4th: Läkerol Cactus

December 5th: Christmas decoration:

Picture of the calendar itself is on its way.

Winter in Ikariam

The winter / Christmas season reached Ikariam when I logged on today. 1st of December and all. The great thing about the new seasonal theme now is that we can turn it on and off as we wish.

If you want to play Ikariam, here's the links that will put you near me in the map:
Norwegian Alpha Server
Norwegian Beta Server
UK Theta Server